Give Me Jesus

"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints."  Psalm 116:15

Rob and I drove home to Nashville last night. I tried a stint at the wheel, but soon had to tell him to take over because I couldn't keep my eyes open from exhaustion. The day's events kept playing in my mind, the most horrific day I have ever experienced. 

We said our earthly good-bye to our precious Lukey yesterday. We started out by going into the prayer parlor of the church where his casket was. He was dressed in his little jeans, blue sweater, and matching denim tennis shoes. He lay on a blue blanket with his eyes closed as though he were sleeping. I couldn't contain my sobs as I looked at his beautiful little face, so still, so sweet, so perfect. I held my sister as we wept together. 

"Oh, Lukey," I whispered, "I can't believe you are gone from us, sweet baby boy."

Two-year-old Summer, Luke's big sister, was lifted up by her daddy to look at Luke as he lay there. 

"Ha, Lukey, (Hi, Lukey), wanna hoed you (I want to hold you)!"

 Greg sobbed as he told her she wouldn't be able to do that. She offered a pacifier to her baby brother. I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest with pain as sharp as a knife in my heart. 

So many people came to offer comfort to Nic and Greg. Most of the family sat in the front pew of the church with little Luke in front of us. I have never been to a more powerful service. There are several things I will never forget:

*The scream of anguish from Greg as he allowed all of us into his broken daddy's heart. He was so eloquent, so brave, and so honest in his grief. 

*My sister getting on her knees as the congregation sang, "Blessed Be the Name."

*My inconsolable ten-year-old daughter crying beside me throughout the entire service and me being unable to comfort her.

*The power point showing Luke's ten weeks here on earth with his baby sister. I will never  forget two images that flashed on the screen. The first was of Luke tucked into the arm of his 6 foot 4 inch daddy. Such joy on Greg's face as he held his son. The second was footage from Audrey's burial seven weeks ago that showed my sister singing, "Be Still My Soul" with Luke in her arms.

* My sister-in-law, Molly, and my brother, Todd, singing, "Press On." 

*My brother, Jack, singing Fernando Ortega's "Give Me Jesus."

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus, 
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus.

When I am alone
When I am alone
When I am alone, give me Jesus.

And when I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die, give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
But give me Jesus.

Copyright 2000 Word Music, Inc. Dejamosolo Music
Words and Music by Fernando Ortega

Jesus, You were there. You are here, no matter what the aching sadness in our hearts would scream at us. Give us Yourself. Nothing but the knowledge of Your presence will comfort our bleeding hearts.